Khowi's Blog

Jumat, 22 Mei 2009

What do you think about life?

Life is short
Break the rules
forgive quickly
kiss passionately, love truly
laugh constantly
And never stop smiling
no matter how strange life is
Life is not always the party we expected to be
but as long as we are here, we should smile and be grateful.

LIFE is just not living it, it's ENDURING it……..

Kamis, 21 Mei 2009

A Quick Laugh For 5 Mins

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it.

Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted : $10.
Teacher : You don't know maths.
Ted : You don't know my father!

Mother : David, come here.
David : Yes, mum?
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father : So?
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter : It's mummy!
Father : How do you know?
Daughter : She didn't say anything.

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born

Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.
Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

Teacher : Simon, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did u copy his?
Simon : No, teacher, it's the same dog!

Father : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son : That's why I say she's no good!

Teacher: 'Where were u born?'
Student: ' Singapore , Sir.'
Teacher: 'Which part?'
Student: 'All of me, Sir.'

A teacher was asking her class: 'What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?'
Only one hand shot up.
'Ok, answer, Joan' said the teacher.
''unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is a sick eagle.'

Teacher: 'How come you do not comb your hair?'
Ah Kow: 'No comb, Sir.'
Teacher: 'Use your dad's then.'
Ah Kow: 'No hair, Sir.'

A boy came home from school with his exam results.
'What did u get?' asked his father.
'My marks are under water,' said the boy.
'What do u mean 'under water'?'
'They are all below 'C' (sea) level'

Rabu, 20 Mei 2009

Top Ten Hell City In The World

Number 10

Baghdad, Iraq
Type of hell : Conflict
It's very suprise that cheap flights fill weekends to Baghdad. A damage city with serious condition because of the wars during Saddam Husein. Since the U.S. invasion, rubbing, kidnapping, sexual crime and man-slaughter happened everywhere. Most of the streets in this city has been a wide savannah.

Number 9
Dhaka, Bangladesh
Type of Hell: Pollution

City which is famous for the fissure is Dhaka, no 9 from 10 hell in the world. Beside the fluidity politics, military pressure and the disorder as the result of war and act of God, this capital city of Bangladesh had over crisis with the highest pollution. Industries which fulfill this city give bad effects to its environment, consecutively 9,7 million tons of rubbish are thrown through river in city every year .

Number 8
Yakutsk, Russia
Type of hell: Environmental extreme

The coldest place in earth, most of times the temperature here falls into -58′Fahrenheit, and if that happens, children are perforce to have holiday from their school. The thick fog can only allow your eyes to see not more than 10 metres in front.

Number 7
Mogadhisu, East Africa
Type of hell : Lawlessness

City which hierarchy can be negotiate. In 1992, rebellion happened everywhere with thousands of case and long of dry season as well as hunger in every region of the city. Mogadishu, of course will not be found in your holiday brosure..

Number 6
Chernobyl, Ukraine
Type of hell: Radiation

If you never heard of Chemobyl, a sentenced city, maybe you will not live there because of the danger of radiation these lately decades. Nuclear explosion in 1986 had destroyed and contaminated all organic creatures in this place.

Number 5

Oklahoma City, United States
Type of hell: Natural disasters

The bad time to visit here is March to August because there is unpredictable weather and this is the city with the at most of tornado disaster in U.S. This disaster makes this city looks like in film The Day After Tomorrow.

Number 4
Pyongyang, North Korea
Type of hell: Oppression

City which full of pressure, this city only has 1 tv channel and 1 radio station which are authorized by government. Just want to go out from the city, everybody must ask for permission first. The main point is you will be satisfied after escape from this city.

Number 3
Bujumbura, Republic of Burundi
Type of hell: Corruption

With the lowest percapita income, this country has become the poorest country in planet. And the most discouraging is in this city, assasinations of political leader always happen, none of this place which is suitable to be your honeymoon place.

Number 2
Linfen, China
Type of hell: Darkness.

The most populated city according to Time jurnal version, faint and darkness make this city like hell. The air here is full of coal pollution, and street which is full of emission. You have to stay away, even though you wear gas mask, because it will not save you, stay away and dont ever come back to this city..

Number 1
Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea
Type of hell: Disease

More than 115 HIV victims emerge every month, this city becomes the worst place to live in this world, according to economic intelligence vote in 2004. Population grows uncontrollably here, raping case, rubbing reach the highest rate which are 23 times more than London 's. There was a famous gang which was succed in robbing money in bank with M16 riffle. If you dont find a souvenir here, dont worry because aftering arrived at home you will get a disease souvenir with you which get along with your body.

Test for Dementia

Kids in School Think Quick

TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS : Maria!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H to O!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Goss, why do you ! always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE : All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.'
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.
Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
LOUIS : Because George still had the ax in his hand.
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!;
__________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.

JOKE award winner in UK‏

O ne Chinese person walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. As he was a great fan of his movies, he rushes over to him, and asks for his autograph.

I nstead, Spielberg gives him a slap and says 'You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor, get out of here.'
The astonished Chinese man replied 'It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor, it was the Japanese'.
'Chinese, Japanese, Taiwanese, you're all the same,' replied Spielberg.
I n return, the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says 'You sank the Titanic; my forefathers were on that ship.'
Shocked, Spielberg replies 'It was the iceberg that sank the ship, not me.'
The Chinese replies, 'Iceberg, Spielberg, Carlsberg, you're all the same.'

This particular joke won an award for the best joke in a competition in Britain

A Little Shipping Humour

A man was sitting in the bar at Felixstowe port. A beautiful woman walks in
and sits down at the table next to him. So he decides because she's at the
port, she's probably an off-duty Shipping Line Customer Service agent.

So he decides to have a go at picking her up by identifying the shipping
line she works for, thereby impressing her greatly.

He leans across to her and says the Hapag motto 'Better together ? '.

The woman looks at him blankly. He sits back and thinks up another line.

He leans forward again and delivers the Hanjin Line motto 'Your Choice,
Your Success' .

Again she just stares at him with a slightly puzzled look on her face.

Undeterred, he tries again, this time saying the OOCL motto "We take it
personally".

The woman looks at him sternly and says 'What the f *ck do you want?'

'Ah!' he says, sitting back with a smile on his face........ ' MAERSK LINE'